Christmas and New Years

Though I was somewhat worried (go figure) about traveling with a two month old, Jacob and I spent Christmas with my entire family this year. It was wonderful! Isaac traveled like a dream. He had a couple rough days when we first arrived and then settled into a fantastic routine.

Here are some of the highlights of our first Christmas as family of three, and of all the Carter madness that ensues when all of us get together. It's a lot of people...Mom and Dad Carter, 8 of their children and spouses, and 11 grandchildren. Good, good times!

Loving the lights at our house.

Christmas with the Brunson side of the family came a little early with dinner at Sarah and Kevin's and skyping Grandma and Grandpa Brunson.

Christmas morning.

Newest cousin-Hannah.

Though Isaac looks like his daddy, this picture is evidence he is a little bit me too. I sleep with my fist like that all the time.

All the Carter grandkids together.

The travel back to our home went well too. But Isaac has not adjusted so well to being home. It's been a tough week. He won't take his pacifier any longer and he screams most times I try to get him to sleep. He did have his two month check up and it turns out he may have an ear infection. That might explain some of the fussiness. He also got shots which was maybe more traumatic for me than him. At two months he is weighing in at 11.8 pounds and is 23.5 inches long.

And he is still really stinking cute.

Smile

I finally caught Isaac smiling on camera today. I pretty much think it's the cutest thing. Sometimes I have to work really hard for the smiles...sometimes not so much. Either way, they make my day.

Santa Baby

Or maybe just Santa with a baby.

A Moment

I was hauling a crying Isaac upstairs to feed him and decided I needed to use the bathroom first.

So, I propped him up in the glider with his pacifier loosely in his mouth and went about my business. I could hear a little continued crying and then nothing.

I returned to find this adorable scene.

Photos had to be taken.

I love this kid!

Don't Worry, Be Happy

So, this whole baby thing has been a rocky transition for me. I find that all the worst things about myself have been amplified with having a baby to care for and all the hormones that come with it. I have been kind of a roller coaster of anxiety, worry, stress, and "baby blues" but maybe a little stronger... It's been a rocky road.
But, I think I've turned the corner. It was difficult for me to really enjoy Isaac because I was so worried about every little thing. "Is he sleeping too little, is he eating enough, is he active enough, is he sleeping too much, why can't I get anything done," and on and on.

I know that am I naturally inclined to worry. And I know that I almost always have expectations about things and when I can't count on those expectations or things change too much, I struggle. Like I said, totally amplified by having a newborn. I have come to realize I can't have expectations. Babies are going to be different every day. I can't worry about every little change or I'll go crazy. Well, I'm probably a little too close to crazy all ready!

I know that is no epiphany for the majority of you out there, but trust that it was really hard for me to let go of the worry and the expectations. It's hard for me every day but I am getting better. And I am more able to enjoy the cuteness and fun personality developing in my son. And I'm thankful for that.

He is delightful! Here's the proof... (newest photos to oldest- except the first one, I guess I'm not that great at uploading in the right order and I'm definitely too lazy to change them around.)

These two were taken last night.

This is from last Sunday and the one below is from a week ago.

This was taken on Thanksgiving.

These two were from his blessing day. Jacob wore this sweater outfit when he was blessed. I added the pants and shoes.

This was from his first day at church.

Pictures

The Details

Some of you have requested the details about Isaac's birth. Others of you may not care. And truthfully, I'm not sure I want to share every little detail in this very public forum. But I'll give some of the story:

I went to the urgent care the night before Isaac was born because I wasn't feeling him move at all. The doctor there put me on the monitor to check for fluctuations in Isaac's heart rate. Basically they weren't happening. So he then sent me to the hospital for a biophysical profile, a fancy name for an extended ultrasound where they look for specific types of movement. Again, he was moving, but not as much as they would like to see. So, Jacob and I waited for a phone call from my doctor with more information. We got the call and decided to induce labor as I was already dilated to a 3 and 39 weeks.

They started me on pitocin that night and saw little reaction to the drug. I was contracting regularly, baby was moving fine, but I couldn't really feel any contractions so they couldn't really call it labor. They were going to send me home. But, as I stood up to use the restroom, my water broke. So stay I did.

I progressed very quickly from that point. I think I dilated from a 4 to a 9.5 in about 2-3 hours. I was to the point where I was asking for the epidural and Jacob was trying to get me to wait a few more minutes. I asked the nurse to check my progress. Jacob started running water in the Jacuzzi bath for me. I went to the bathroom. When I came out I told the nurse I felt like I needed to push. She did check me at that point and was surprised to see I was at a 9.5.

The nurse then frantically got the room ready, called for my doctor, and got some others for assistance. She told me not to push as my doctor was still 15 minutes away. I did some breathing to help not push but it was difficult because my body wanted to push.

When the doctor arrived I began pushing. I pushed for what I'm pretty sure was 2 hours before Isaac joined us. He was perfect, and still is, and he was placed on my stomach. I turned to Jacob and told him Isaac had a "Carter nose." I think I also calmly told him that was the worst pain of my life. But I did do it all without the epidural.

And then there were some complications with the placenta not separating from the uterus. And that is where I will skip the details, because frankly, it wasn't pretty. I lost more blood than they would have liked and I was weak from the loss. I still am trying to build up my iron levels. Good times.

But Isaac is here and well, and I am well. And that's all that really matters.

I'm having difficulty loading my pictures to this blog, again, so those will have to wait. And, since it's been a while since I actually wrote this post I will update with these few words. Newborns are hard. I worry a lot. And I give props to all you mothers out there.

Isaac is still perfectly healthy, sometimes a little fussy, but over all pretty good. He just does not like to sleep on his back in the bassinet so if anyone has suggestions on how to get a newborn to sleep in the bassinet please let me know.