Hard Lessons

The other day we went to quilt group at the Van Shaar's home.  The boys love the chance to play in their basement.  I had a visiting teaching appointment scheduled right after quilt group so we had to make our exit a little more quickly than we normally do.

I went to the basement to help the boys clean up and then we grabbed some treats and headed out.  My visiting teaching appointment was nice.  I recently got reassigned and I visit one of the sisters in our ward who I really look up to.  She is the mother of 7, mostly adult children, and reminds me of my mom in some ways.  And in some ways not.  It was good to visit.

When I got home the boys got started playing and I got started on sweeping and mopping the floor.  In the midst of that I noticed Isaac pulled something out of his pocket and was playing with a quarter.  I knew he hadn't taken one of his quarters with him so I asked where it came from.  He told me he had found it in the Van Shaar's basement.  I kept about sweeping for a minute or two when it registered for me that he had just taken something that didn't belong to him from someones home.  I put down the broom and went and told Isaac that it's wrong to take things that don't belong to us and that we would have to return the quarter to the Van Shaars.

He was not happy.  I think he was really wanting to keep the quarter and then also, he was starting to feel some guilt.  I talked him through why and how we would return it and all the while he was crying.  He said he wanted to wait until tomorrow when he would have forgotten about the quarter.  I told him I wanted him to take it now while it was fresh in his memory and because it was the right thing to do.  I got Ben ready to go and then told Isaac we were heading for the car.  He really started crying and ran to his room.  I followed him there and talked some more.  He cried that he "didn't want to feel this way anymore."  I assured him that after he returned the quarter and made it right he would feel better.  He told me he needed to be alone to calm down.  I talked a little more and then he said "you aren't leaving me alone."  Oh right.  I told him he could have 5 minutes.

I went back downstairs to check on Ben and then finished up sweeping.  I headed up to Isaac's room and while I was going upstairs I could hear mumbling.  I went into his room and told him it was time to go.  He crawled out of the closet and said he was ready.  He was totally calm and pleasant, no more fit.  He said he had said a few prayers and Heavenly Father was telling him he was doing the right thing.  I told him that feeling was from Heavenly Father and we rehearsed how this would all go down again.

On the car ride to the Van Shaar's I was praying they would be home and Isaac was praying he would be brave.  We got to the Van Shaar's and unloaded out of the car.  I rang the doorbell and Isaac hid behind my leg.  I told Carol that Isaac was feeling shy but had something to return that belonged to them.  I handed her the quarter.  Carol was great at talking to Isaac and thanking him for returning it.  He had expressed earlier that he didn't want Sister Van Shaar to be mad at him.  I assured him she wouldn't.  After that Ben and Isaac ran off in the front yard and began playing.

I talked with Carol a bit and then we headed home.

I was so proud of Isaac.  What a demonstration of faith.  His prayers were so sincere and humble.  But I was mostly surprised at how hard this whole thing was for me.  I wanted to cry with Isaac.  I didn't want him to "feel that way" either.  We've all been there.  It's scary and hard to do the right thing.  But I also knew that now was the time to learn this lesson, with such a small thing and friends that what love.  Hopefully Isaac won't have to learn this lesson again with something bigger and more awkward.

Being a parent is hard stuff.  I hope I'm doing it well enough.  I have good boys and I hope I tell them that enough.