Friday, January 23, 2009

Agency or Inspiration

I've been thinking a lot this week about the balance between our agency and seeking inspiration in the decisions we make. I find that I am somewhat faithless. And I think I lack faith more in my own ability to choose than in receiving inspiration.
This week I have had some difficulty. I have let myself get bogged down in doubt and fear about decisions I have made and it has not been pretty. I may have mentioned before that I am prone to worry. As a kid I would get so stirred up over little things, like math homework, that I would end up pulling my hair out one by one. (There's an actual mental health diagnosis for that, by the way). And this week I have been experiencing borderline hair-pulling kinds of stress and anxiety.
And I think it all boils down to having faith in my ability to be guided by the Spirit and make good decisions. And then trusting that it is good and has been ratified by the Lord and moving forward in that faith. I am living a righteous life and have no reason to question my ability to receive inspiration and guidance and to discern choices that are right for me.
And yet I found out just how easy it is to get to a very ugly place, very quickly.
So, here's hoping I am past it and can move forward with confidence!

6 comments:

Emily said...

You hit the nail on the head for me. Go forth with faith- you can do it!

Barbara said...

I know just what you mean. My experience is that you make the decision, pray about it, and go forward as well. I also think that if you've made the wrong decision, Heavenly Father will not let you go forward if it is not right. Trust yourself, trust the Lord, and calm down. That's the ticket. (I know, I know, much easier said than done, but I have confidence in you :)

scott said...

It is also helpful to remember that satan will do all he can to make you change your mind if the decision you have made is going to lead you to good places, a lot of fear or anxiety in choices we have made come from him.

MaryAnn said...

I agree with all of the other comments. You should trust yourself and your ability to discern the spirit and make correct choices and not let Satan lead you into fear and anxiety.

Megan Campbell Carter said...

I agree with everyone else and I know it's hard. I felt the exact same way last spring too and I made it. You're in a much better place than you know! Just keep the faith. :)

Lynda/Mom said...

I have struggled a lot with the same issue. The biggest, most momentous decisions are the hardest. Actually, they shouldn't be so hard if you do what seems good or right and move forward with the decision. I have done so on occasion and just plain been prevented from going through with it. If you can do it, generally you should and it will work out OK. Also, I think about how I would feel if I backed out of the decision, and if I think I will stagnate or regret the lost opportunity, I move forward instead of back. Good luck!! I hope, like you say, you're past it now. Aunt Lynda