Friday, April 15, 2011

A Love Hate Relationship

This post is going to be about breastfeeding. Stop reading now if that subject matter doesn't interest you or weirds you out for whatever reason.

As the title of this post indicates, breastfeeding and I have had our ups and downs. We certainly had a rocky start with several visits to the lactation specialists here in town. Lets just say Isaac was not a "natural" and neither was I. There were many frustrating moments when I debated giving up.

To be honest, I still have those moments. Regularly.

But I stick with it because I think the "love" part of the relationship is stronger.

The "hate" part is plenty strong too...

The "Hate" list:

-Mastitis, clogged ducts, and other infections and pains for which I will spare you the details.

- I'm pretty "tied down" when it comes to time away from the baby. He's not great with a bottle and I'm not great at pumping...

- I'm the only one able to feed him at night.

- Isaac has become much more active while eating and pulls at everything he can get his hand to. My shirt collars are his favorite and they are all getting stretched out. If I try to move his hand he gets frustrated and pulls off, and that's just not cool. He also grabs at my hair, lips, and tries to get at my glasses. It drives me nuts.

The "Love" List:

-I'm currently at my lowest weight since before coming to graduate school. I can fit into my "skinny" jeans (though I still prefer my stretchy pants...).

-It's a sure fire way to calm him or put him to sleep. (Don't judge me. I sometimes/often nurse Isaac to sleep. Sometimes it's the best thing for all of us.)

- I love the bonding factor...he is really cute when he looks up at me or when he falls asleep with his hand across my chest. It's sometimes the closest thing I get to snuggling with my baby who is less keen on sitting peacefully and cuddling into his momma.

Lists aside, I'm still looking forward to the entry of solid food and the time when nursing is less frequent. Especially during the night!

6 comments:

Jason&Shannon said...

Yeah, I was not the most patient mom when it came to the wandering hands while breast feeding. I would always try to hold their hands down too, but lucky for me the baby didn't pull off when I did this.

MaryAnn said...

I hear you - boy, do I hear you. I'm glad I am done and yet I am sad I am done...

Mary Ann said...

I can relate especially to the active eating and pulling off. Fortunately, I haven't had to deal with any mastitis or clogged ducts. I too absolutely love the bonding. My main frustration is that it's a bit stressful to be the only source of nutrition for a tiny human being.

Emily said...

I'm so sorry you've had mastitis! It's the worst!! :(

I nursed Ansley to sleep and loved it when it meant she'd go to sleep without crying or that we could actually watch a show together.

Strupp Family said...

I wasn't a natural, either. And neither was Tyler (or Ashley) the other two did better.

Anyway, I had some mastitis and clogged ducts myself and they're MISERABLE. I found if I pushed on the sore spot while they were breastfeeding and pushed it toward the exit :) it would go away. Even though this hurt really bad...it went away pretty quickly.

Good times. I'm also glad to be done, and not glad at the same time.

Also, they get more cuddly as they get older--like 18 months--and sometimes they don't. You're such a great mom. I love hearing about all of this!

Dani said...

Nursing can be really hard. I've had a hard time with both of mine at the beginning, but it got better with both and I ended up really enjoying it....except for what you said about having to be the only one to feed them all the time, get up in the night, etc. I'm about to start the process all over again in two weeks. Wish me luck...