1 Month

Sweet baby Ben is a month old.  I have a few pictures but they are on cameras that are at home.  And Ben and I are in the hospital.

That was his one month gift:  RSV and hospitalization.

He's been sick for a week and had multiple trips to the Dr's office where they declared him fine, just a cold.  And then Saturday rolled around and he was more tired, wouldn't really eat, and then started with a fever.  So, to the urgent care we went.  They promptly sent me to the ER where they were probably going to send us home to care for the RSV there but then Ben's oxygen levels dropped when he fell asleep.  And just like that we were admitted.

I'm sad.  I'm trying not to have mommy guilt about a sick one month old but it's hard not to think of all the places we shouldn't have gone or things we shouldn't have done.  But the reality of the situation is, Ben probably caught this from us.  Jacob, Isaac and I have all been battling colds since Ben was born.  Poor little guy probably never stood a chance.

But I'm also sad to be in the hospital.  It's hard to care for a baby when you are limited in where you can go and what you can do by oxygen cords.  It's also hard being in the same room for days on end.  And its REALLY hard watching your little babe struggle with coughing fits.  But that was hard at home too.  And I'm sad to be away from Isaac.  Turns our I really miss my troublesome 2 year old.

I'm hopeful they'll release us soon.  Ben is doing really well.  He just can't seem to keep his oxygen levels up whenever they do a room air test.  He's not even on that high of an oxygen flow.  The doctor said she may send us home with oxygen but that scares me a little too.  I guess we'll wait and see what happens.  Hopefully we are on the improving side of things but it's hard to tell.  Poor, sweet Ben.