Bravery

I realize I have never been a very brave or adventurous person. I don't like feeling out of control. Fear of being out of control, and perhaps severely injuring myself, has prevented me from doing a lot of things. Today I stood at the top of several little hills covered in rocks, sand, and loose gravel and tried to conquer some of those fears. The fear won. That's right, I'm a scaredy!

Jacob and I went for a little bike ride this morning. I am really comfortable with riding on the road or the sidewalk but I've always wanted to try a little bit of actual trail riding. So we headed up to a local state park that has several single track trails of varying difficulty and I gave it my best effort. Turns out my best effort isn't that great. This was only my second time off-roading and this was more scary than the first time for sure. I think I psyched myself out thinking about all the potential crashes, analyzing every little bump or rock in the trail, and studying just how skinny the trail is which leaves very little room for error. I psyched myself out so badly I pretty well walked down most of the steeper hills. And I was on "easy"trails the whole ride. Seriously, I am a little bit ashamed of myself.

On the other hand, it was a beautiful morning with the leaves beginning to change and it was good to get out and do something active. I really did have an enjoyable time despite my inability to conquer the fear. But now it's become a little bit more of a challenge for me because I don't appreciate the extent of the fear and it's debilitating affects. I want to be able to ride the easy courses without batting an eye. So...something to work on I guess.

Speaking of things to work on...
I was also able to watch the afternoon session of conference today. I love general conference! I appreciated Elder Holland's talk on angels and I want to do better at being a little more compassionate and loving so I can be more in tune with opportunities to help others around me. I continue to become increasingly aware of how selfish I am. I want to do better at that. I also really enjoyed Elder Bednar's remarks on making prayer more meaningful. Again, this is certainly an area I can improve in. I was discussing this talk with a friend of mine and we were both remarking how strange it is that we had not been more aware of the connection between morning and evening prayers. It amazes me how simple things like that can hit me like a ton of bricks and I think to myself "Obviously! That makes so much sense."

I also spent this evening learning how to make some excellent egg rolls and cashew chicken while spending time with some fantastic ladies from my ward. I do enjoy a good girls night out! I enjoy them even more when good food is involved. I enjoy most activities more when food is involved...

All in all, it's been a good day and I'm looking forward to more goodness tomorrow.